Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
