I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Randomize
