and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
