Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
