just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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