I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
