His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
