i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
