I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
