so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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