ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
