dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
try to milk me bitch
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
