Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
