how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Can I color on your dick again?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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