Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
