8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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