After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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