He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
