Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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