after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
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