is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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