your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
