Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
