i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
