chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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