broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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