Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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