careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
