apparently the secret to your success is patron
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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