we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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