Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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