if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
