I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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