Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
