I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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