I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Someone shattered a urinal.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
