I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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