I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
