Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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