If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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