i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
