I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
