There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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