That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
