his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
