Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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