i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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