If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
