sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
