Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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