R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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