You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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